Hello 2021!  Welcome to a new year.  I know last year I had said I was going to post more and well that went totally to the wayside.  What happened you may ask.  2020 that is what happened.  To say that 2020 sucked the big one would be a gross understatement to exactly how last year was.  I would have to say it was probably one of the worst years I have had.  Let me tell you how my 2020 went.

Well for starters we had to deal with the start of the global pandemic that is still ravishing our country and the world today.  I am a banker as my full time job so I am considered an essential worker.  What does this mean…It means that I have to go into work every day because lets face it Banks are a big part of what helps keep our infrastructure together.  Like some professions I did not have the option to work from home.  So this meant going into work day in day out worrying about if I am going to catch something from a customer, co-worker etc and bringing it home to my husband.  On top of that there is the feeling of isolation, not being able to see my family and friends.  I have seen my mom, dad, and grandma I think twice in all of 2020.  Luckily I maintained a “bubble” of friends as we call it that I was able to spend time with regularly and thank god for video chatting apps that I used to be able to see my cousins, sister, and sister in law or I think I may have lost my mind.

Then last year was a very tough year for my husband who is my absolute best friend.  He has been dealing with anxiety in depression for years but this past years things really came to a head.  Not only was he dealing with his own internal struggles but we had to add on top of that struggles with the nightmarish neighbors who decided to build a 40 foot pole barn right in our back yard and decided it would be awesome to live out of it.  All this combined together nearly sent him over the edge.  I constantly went to work worrying about him and not sure what I was going to come home to.

On top of all this lets add in some financial struggles to the mix for good measure.  I have always been really good with my money.  I don’t like to spend my money on random things or things I don’t need.  I always paid my bill on time and had really good credit.  This year however, changed that.  It became really hard to make ends meet on my income alone while my husband continued his studies in computer science/programming.  So hard that I actually fell behind on my bills.  I know this happens to everyone at some point in their life its just a part of life.  I was not ready for it to happen to me.  All these struggles ended up having an impact on my overall health as well which I will get into at a later time.

As you can see 2020 was not kind to me nor was it really kind to anyone.  This year I am vowing to do better.  I am going to use this year to reflect on my past and learn from it to move forward and become the best version of myself I can be.  This is my last year in my 30’s ( I can’t believe I am saying that) and there is so much I want to accomplish.  Some things I really want to focus on this year is my overall health and fitness.  I want to get off my medication I know find myself on and be a stronger person.  I also want to focus on completing the Udemy courses that I paid for and have yet to finish.  Mostly though I want to focus on my inner self.  Making sure I learn to take time for me and do the things I want to do.

This year I vow to become the best version of me I can be.  Stop worrying about what other people might think of me and just focus on how I feel about myself and learn to love myself again.  I always tell this to my husband and I know we have all heard this saying at some point in our life but for me right now it feels relevant- “you can’t dwell on the past you have to learn from it and move forward”.  That’s my goal before I turn 40.  Lets see how it goes.  I hope you will stick around and follow me through this year.  I promise there will be more posts to come.